New Raccoon Palisade Air Defences

Last night a raccoon penetrated our defences.  It took a small bite out of a ripening Arkansas Marvel and knocked a Green Cherokee off its plant.  We think juveniles are small enough to clamber up our chicken wire and drop into the tomato patch, and climb out later.  The Queen of Cuisine spent much of the afternoon adding layers of “confounding string” to our superior perimeter in hopes of deterring small varmints from “plopping down” into the tomato plants.  The whole patch now looks like a giant cat’s cradle.  When asked what she’d do if the new defences don’t work, Her Majesty replied “I’ll just get more string!”

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About iwolkoff

Irvin Wolkoff is a psychiatrist and wine journalist who has been a wine enthusiast and collector since his university days.
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2 Responses to New Raccoon Palisade Air Defences

  1. epp416 says:

    There is another solution.

    Go to the Robert Bateman Parkette between 5 and 6 in the afternoon. Sit on the only bench and place 5 unshelled peanuts on the bench next to you.

    This is the signal for Rocco.
    He leads a band of grey squirrels that have been fighting against the racoons of Toronto since the late 1930s. They use the latest technology, as well as some banned weapons of war. They believe humans were soft when they banned chemicals.
    His fees are between you and him. His group keeps all dead animals. They have had some legendary “Feasts of Victory”.
    The Greys have never failed a client.

    There is still time. No more Green Cherokees need to die. The Arkansas Marvels can be protected. The Tennessee Greens can be saved.

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